Exam is the "E" word that would really scare the living daylights out of any sane individuals. It spells psychological trauma in the mind, an emotional struggle in the heart and more pangs of anxiety to get over the academic morass of readings, notes and tutorials during the last hour. There is often no time to waste. It is either you are 'in' for a good ride or 'out' of the rat race. students tend to hate this period of time as they have to gear up for the battle of grades and performance. They are worth as much as what they can score. Their values in life are pegged to the pending promotion or certificates received at the end of the year. Fates and destinies are in the hands of the examiners. Sweeping statement, you might say. But face it, this is how the real world works and how people are taking it here. Indeed, exams in Singapore are not for the faint hearted. It is for those who want to get ahead in life and to triumph for the trophy of excellence. Get behind me if you are not up to the mark. Shove off, dope.
Perhaps you are starting to feel a little uncomfortable after reading these comments. If you feel like beating me up, I guessed I have achieved my objective. You should feel so because we all feel so all the time. The frustrations of always trying too hard, the unwritten rule to be the best and the rigor of performing under expectations; all within one seating can be extremely nerve-racking. A high-strung, stressed filled and egoistic drive of exam fever can send some students into delusion.
It is comforting to know that exams can also be sobering moments to think through what we really want in life. In the trying times of assessment and assignment deadlines, one has great opportunities to ponder the reasons for the 'sufferings' from exams and answer our very own 'duh' rhetorical questions, "Why are we studying so hard? Why are we making lives so difficult for ourselves? Don't we have a better way out than to spend a quarter of our lives studying? Why am I doing all these?" The exams 'Why lists' can go on and on but ultimately it boils down to the brute fact that nobody actually loves exams. Just get on with it and enter the University of Life - to work ourselves to death and inherit a brand new routine of corporate appraisals and ranking. Exams are for life. When you think you are out of it, it will creep back silently to haunt. Have you ever wondered why we are so willing to be controlled by the never ending demands of exams? Is it just for the sake of getting a certificate, diploma or degree? Or simply we are not 'thinking' anymore? We are slowly losing the touch on what is really good for us. We become anxious when we do not see the crowd. We question ourselves when we can't seem to get anywhere with the revision. Tunnel vision surfaces - are we doing the right thing? Such herd mentality is getting us off track from our true calling to something more nominal, banal and sterile. We can no longer make wise decisions. Our life is much orchestrated by the grades we get or the qualifications we hold.What a life.
Personally, I always regard exam period as a special time zone for me to sober up a little. It gives me ample space to think through what I really want in life. It also settles my confidence when I am in the midst of groping what I need and what I can put aside for a while. It trains my perseverance. The exam ordeal is a fine test on my will and mental faculties, stretching me in all aspects, so much so that it can shatter one's heart with a fail grade or bring one to jubilee with a distinction. It is really mind bogging sometimes to realize how our moods and lives are being altered completely by the exams. Results are still calling the shots at the end of the day somehow.
In the days of the knowledge economy and competent teachers bragging about their 'Teach less, Learn more' (TLLM) bag of tricks, it is really about letting go when you think you have reached your pinnacle or when you have tried your best and still produced a badly done script. It is better to try again than to become insane with strong perfectionist overtones to outdo your 'competitors' next time. Trust me. Wrong motives, wrong results. With a twisted mind, the avalanche of revision materials will not just overwhelm but will bury some alive. The rules of the Game could have changed a little today. You do not really need the perfect grade. A 'very good degree' can only do so much nowadays. What is more critical is the ability to think in times of adversity (the exams) and being wise enough to do what you can under limited conditions (revision deadlines). There is nothing wrong to fail in some ways. We are only humans and making mistakes are inevitable.
So, do give it a try to see exams in a different light. It is much a private exercise to reflect upon the values you always endear but soon have to let go for something better and contemporary to come into picture. It is only a giant monster if you let it be. Tame your mind. Control your emotions and reactions to what's coming next. Exams can be a small deal if it is ranked amongst other things like family, relationships and friends. If you will and dare to put away that 'Me, Myself and I' attitude, I guess exams can be a little more comforting activity for you. You will soon appreciate why some people can be just as happy even if they have bagged the E's and F's.
It is really no big deal afterall.
this is how i look now. argh!
CECILIA